Tuesday September 30th 2008. So that was when I came out to my parents, and one more chain holding me down was released. For all the scenarios that I came up with back when I used to angst about this, I never thought it would have happened like it did. Who knew a day full of fun and frivolity, yum cha, Wall-e and kickboxing would lead to another level of personal freedom?

Looking back on it, I’d been busy. Not busy enough to forget about what was going on inside of me, but it seems like I had for the most part forgotten about the whole ‘coming out’ issue with the folks. So my dad suddenly confronting me in my room while I played word challenge on Facebook was… a surprise. I’m pretty sure my word score didn’t end up being very high either.

When I tell the story now, the funny little part of it is that my dad confronted me because over a week ago now he’d found some porn. Yeah. Awkard. I must have just been lazy hiding things, buttons were pressed, videos were played, naked guys were doing stuff to/with/on/in each other. Apparently he couldn’t sleep that night.

I would have liked to have been able to say that I did it text book. That I had the courage to sit them down and say ‘yo, I need to tell you something…’. But honestly, even though its a little embarassing and the inititating conditions weren’t picture perfect, I’m out! Who gives a shit!?

The touching part of the story, at least for me, is that just like Randy Pausch, I really lucked out in the parent lottery. I’m their son, and they love me, accept me, and want the best for me, always. And I never knew that more than that night. Yeah they probably are still dissapointed and sad, and I know I broke their dreams for me, for a wedding with a nice girl and grandkids, especially grandkids. But I never knew more than on Tuesday night, how much they love me, and I didn’t realise how far away I’d kept myself from them. I relate to them complely differently now, little things that used to annoy me don’t even matter anymore, and I just feel like, home, feels more like home now.

And then I got bombarded with the questions. When did you know? How do you know? Do you have a boyfriend? Will you tell us if you have a boyfriend? Which one are you? (WOAH awkward much huh? I just said ‘I dunno’). I also found that they have high standards for my future partner. Bums need not apply.

When it all happened and as it all unfolded, I though I’d be more scared. I knew there’d be crying, but I thought there would be so much more to be scared of. That’s probably more to do with me. I only feel like now, that I’m really starting to grow into myself, and I’ve really made peace with who I am. And I felt it. The whole time, inside I felt whole, and secure in the knowledge of myself. So that after the initial surprise and lame attempts to avoid the questions, I could face them. With my truth.

It was intense. While mum cried because of the hopes that she’d realised she lost, and I cried because of the freedom and support I’d gained, my dad was this pillar of support for both of us. But even though they know now that there are things that I won’t be able to give them, I think we’ve all gained a lot more. I don’t think they know it, but even though they’ve lost some of their hopes for my future, they’ve gained more of me.

And then everything was normal again. There were random questions here and there but life went back to how it was, instead it went forward instead.